I had so many ideas of what I thought motherhood was going to be like.

So many ideas of who and how I would be as a mom.

I read all the books and the blogs.

I listened to other parents, and I thought I was reasonably prepared.

I was not.

Of course I wasn’t. How could I be.

There really aren’t accurate words in the human language to describe what parenthood is like. It’s an experience you have to have before you can really understand it.

And, no two parents have the same experience.

Like any part of life, we have expectations going in, and then we our expectations don’t pan out it feels like the rug was pulled out from under us.

At least that’s how it felt for me.

Before my first son was born, I remember saying that I didn’t want my whole identity to just be a mother. I wanted to stay the same person.

So, when I wasn’t able to make that my reality, I was pretty much floored.

I honestly didn’t know how to handle my identity. I didn’t know who I was anymore, and it sucked.

I’ve always been a practical person, able to roll with the punches, but motherhood gave me all kids of struggles I couldn’t possibly have foreseen.

One of them being mom guilt..

Essentially, mom guilt is what you feel when you’re not able to meet your own expectations.

When you feel like you should be doing something different or better when it comes to your child or parenting, that’s mom guilt.

Mom guilt creeps in when you think you should be able to do it all - balance work, being a mom, and having a relationship.

Not to mention being good to yourself.

No, really. We don’t even think about ourselves most of the time because we put everyone else’s needs before our own.

When it comes to mom guilt, there are certain things I’ve seen again and again.

Mom guilt affects mothers from all walks of life, regardless of parenting style, socioeconomic status,or background.

If you feel guilty about any aspect of how you parent, you are not alone.

Mom guilt often happens when you think you’re not good enough.

It’s so easy to compare ourselves to other parents, especially with Social Media, where everyone else looks like they have their shit together.

One thing to consider - the person you’re comparing yourself to is probably looking at someone else doing the same thing.

The constant worry and self-criticism associated with mom guilt can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and a sense of inadequacy.

If this is you, try not to beat yourself up, and most importantly, it’s ok to ask for help.

Your friends and family want to help you.

You're not being a burden by asking them.

If your mom guilt has led you to feeling anxious or depressed, there is never anything wrong with talking to a therapist.

You absolutely must take care of yourself so that you can be there for your kids.

We live in a society where moms are portrayed as perfect. We’re supposed to be able to have it all and do it all and never get ruffled.

The problem is that we’re human, and we have physical and emotional limitations.

Despite what years of outside influence tell you, you aren’t perfect.

Nobody else expects you to be, and you shouldn't expect it either.

I fully understand what it's like to be a high achieving working mom.

We hold ourselves to a different standard, but ultimately, it's not helping anyone to do that. As a wise therapist once told me - You are not superwoman.

Awareness is always the first place to start.

Simply acknowledging the presence of mom guilt is the first step towards overcoming it.

Understanding that these feelings are common and don't define you as a mother is crucial.

I'd like to give the caveat that you don't want to stop with just being aware.

Once you understand that you're dealing with mom guilt, you can figure out the steps

I mentioned this earlier, but it's so important I wanted to bring it up again.

Asking for help is key to being a good mom.

I understand it can be hard, especially for those of us who are used to being able to handle everything ourselves.

The job of mom is a whole different experience.

You truly can’t do it alone.

There is absolutely no shame in asking for support from friends, family, or a therapist.

If you take anything from this post, remember that you're not , nor should you be, alone

Mom guilt can be overwhelming, but you can absolutely manage it.

Being a good mother doesn't mean being perfect. It means loving your children unconditionally, providing for their needs, and supporting their growth.

Grab a copy of the Mom Guilt Survival Guide!

You can be a fully present mom AND take care of yourself without feeling guilty.

Just fill out the form below, and it'll be in your Inbox.